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THE AMAZING ROMULO NERI

July 12, 2008

Quote of the day:

I never wonder to see men wicked, but I often wonder to see them not ashamed.– Jonathan Swift

Lito Banayo says of Romulo Neri:

Romulo Neri will soon assume his new posting, as administrator of the Social Security System, which husbands some 250 billion pesos of the blood, sweat, and tears of the working class and their private employers.

To make certain he is classified as cabinet rank, his president created a new cabinet cluster, and made him chair the “national social welfare program” of the Boss Woman. Being in cabinet, he can always and ever invoke executive privilege.

And true to form, Romulo Neri tells the country that “executive privilege will stay with me for the rest of my life”. Their secrets (his and hers) till the grave he shall carry. Till death do them part. Married to each other’s prevarications – Romulo and Gloria.

In defending himself against accusations that he is out to use the workers’ fund as his Boss Woman would order, he claims that when he was appointed to the Department of Budget and Management, they likened him to “Dracula” sent to the blood bank. But there was, Neri maintains, no such “Dracula phenomenon” under his watch.

Yet this guy, over wine and fine cheeses and pica-pica, used to regale his close friends with stories of how his cell phone kept ringing during those stressful days of the impeachment case of 2005. His Boss Woman was besieged by those blood-sucking congressmen, he used to tell, with unlimited requests for funding here and funding there. And her Boss Woman, counting every vote of every crocodile, would call him (a la Garci), to release this and release that to whomever. Exasperated at the incessant ringing of his phone, he decided to go to her palace, and sit beside her, calculator in hand, so his responses, which trigger the SARO’s and the NCA’s, would be direct.

He may be no Dracula, but he certainly was Dracula’s valet and faithful gofer. He would open the casket dutifully each night, and close it as soon as the blood-sucking spree was over. And he would make certain the heavy drapes of secrecy are closed, lest the rays of truth permeate and set his bosses’ victims free again.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. July 12, 2008 9:11 am

    your accompanying picture looks like Gloria is telling Neri: Uubusin natin ang perang ito.

    LOL!

  2. July 12, 2008 10:11 am

    Haha Like “pipigain natin ito”!

    This pic is popular among blogs. Whose original, I don’t know.

  3. July 13, 2008 3:05 am

    Gigil na gigil, eh.

    But too bad, fitness for a post is based on golf? Read: http://newsinfo.inquirer.net/inquirerheadlines/nation/view/20080713-148120/Fore-Golf-buddies-swing-for-Neri-at-SSS

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